Sunday, June 10, 2012

SSRC: If I Die

Is it really If I Die time already? Where have the past five months gone? The Soul Screamers Reading Challenge, 
hosted by the incredible Rachel over at fiktshun, is really coming to a close. 
It makes me sad on so many levels, but also incredibly excited as it means it is almost time for Before I Wake.

On the agenda for today's SSRC post are my re-reading thoughts on:

Goodreads description:

The entire school's talking about the gorgeous new math teacher, Mr. Beck. Everyone except Kaylee Cavanaugh. After all, Kaylee's no ordinary high-school junior. She's a banshee—she screams when someone dies.

But the next scream might be for Kaylee.

Yeah—it's a shock to her, too. So to distract herself, Kaylee's going to save every girl in school. Because that hot new teacher is really an incubus who feeds on the desire of unsuspecting students. The only girls immune to his lure are Kaylee and Sabine, her boyfriend's needy ex-girlfriend. Now the unlikely allies have to get rid of Mr. Beck…before he discovers they aren't quite human, either.

But Kaylee's borrowed lifeline is nearing its end. And those who care about her will do anything to save her life.


This was my second time reading If I Die and it was just as intense and gut-wrenching as the first time around. Even though I knew what I was in for, my heart still ached for Kaylee until the very last page. I know it probably doesn't make sense but I think I even cried more the second time around. There was one conversation between Kaylee and Emma in particular, which had me balling like a little baby. Just thinking about it know, gets me all teary-eyed again...

In the fifth book of this series, Kaylee and her friends find themselves facing up against an incubus who would do anything to get what he wants. He only has eyes on his goal and doesn't care one bit who he is hurting on his way to achieving it. He is stone cold and one of the worst Netherworld creatures Kaylee has ever faced. He is no Avari but he is his own kind of evil which cannot be ignored.

One of my favorite things about this book was the fact we got to meet up with one of my favorite minor characters again. I had been wondering how they were doing and loved how Rachel Vincent reintegrated her into the story. I am also hoping we haven't seen the last of them yet.

I don't want to give anything away but the things that happen between our favorite heroine and a certain someone are too precious. There were a lot of parts I kept reading over and over before moving on, but theirs were probably my favorites out of all of them.

This might be the first time I'm openly admitting to it, but I love Sabine. Yes, she is infuriating. Yes, she doesn't shy away from scaring the bejesus out of Kaylee. Yes, she is brutally honest, but it's her honesty and her snarky and funny remarks that make her so likable for me. She is a character who doesn't play by anyone's rules but her own and I find that very refreshing.

There is so much going on in this story that there is never a dull or quiet moment ever. It's fast-paced and action-packed from the very beginning to the very end. No emotion is left untouched - it ranges from happiness to heartache to shock and utter disbelief, to anger and sadness and grief, to fury and more heartache and leaves you with a light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe not... maybe it's not the end of the tunnel but the beginning of an abyss... Knowing what I know about Before I Wake, I am guessing it's the latter...

My rating 5 out of 5 stars

Of course, I could never leave you without some of my favorite quotes and passages.

Kaylee and Sabine - Sabine starts:

"You don't have any outstanding qualities, other than a gritty determination I can't help but relate to."
"Meaning, you tend to grow on people. Like some kind of persistent fungus."


Kaylee's thought:

Was it possible to be haunted by a kiss?

I just love this one line...


I took the liberty of leaving parts out of the passage in order to not spoil anything.

"[...] You're the brightest thing I've ever seen, [...]. You're this beautiful ball of fire spitting sparks out at the world, burning fiercely, holding back the dark by sheer will. And I always knew that if I reached out--if I tried to touch you--I'd get burned. [...] I'm not supposed to feel the fire. I'm not supposed to want it. But I do. [...] I want the fire. I want the heat, and the light, and I want the burn.[...]"


"There's a good kind of crazy, [...]," [...] "It's the kind that makes you think about things that make your head hurt, because not thinking about them is the coward's way out. The kind that makes you touch people who bruise your soul, just because they need to be touched. This is the kind of crazy that lets you stare out into the darkness and rage at eternity, while it stares back at you, ready to swallow you whole."


Tod, obviously - I am still giggling:

"I'm dead, not impotent. Nasty rumors like that must be quashed before they gain momentum. 
Feel free to emphasize how very functional I am."


Sophie and Emma:

"Fashion intervention or suicide watch?"
"It's gonna be the scene of a homicide if you don't put bitchy on the back burner," Emma snapped, and I laughed out loud.

So did I!!! That's exactly why I love Emma so much!


I have a ton more quotes picked out but these are some of my absolute favorites. One tear jerker moment is amongst my favorites too, but I can't possibly share it without spoiling something in the process - which is why I decided to leave it out.

I know it might surprise some of you how short this review/thoughts post is, but I really don't want to spoil anything in case somebody who hasn't read this book stumbles upon my words. This is just one of those books you have to discover for yourself without knowing too much ahead of time.

This book is pure magic and I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone. 
Read it and get lost on this unique journey.


  1. Would you believe me if I said I STILL need to read this series?!?! ?I have heard nothing but good about it and I think I am going to have to read this summer! Awesome review :-) Glad to hear you enjoyed it!

    Following your blog! Feel free to visit mine!

  2. Love love love LOVE If I Die so much, and I'm glad you thought it was epic 5-star worthy too!! I think it was my favourite book in the entire Soul Screamers series -- mostly because I'm Team Tod, but also because it was the most intense! :)

    Awesome review! <3